by Linda Kondracki

In Confident Kids parents’ group one night, a single mom reported, “I feel so guilty today.” When asked why, she said. “Life has been so stressful for us lately, and we’ve all been on edge. So yesterday morning, when we were all rushing around yelling at each other, I finally said ‘Stop everyone! You know what this family needs? A day at the beach!’ So we canceled everything we were supposed to do and spent the day at the beach.”
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“Did it help?” I asked. “We had a wonderful time! It was our best day since my husband left. But I can’t stop thinking that maybe I taught the kids that it’s okay to flake out on their responsibilities. We had a lot of things we were supposed to do yesterday.”

I assured this mom that she had made a great choice, and then noticed many other parents seemed uncomfortable with my response. So we spent the rest of the hour talking about the value of play to healthy family life. The whole discussion reminded me that many adults have very little ability to play, and even less understanding of how vitally important play is to the overall health of their family’s life!

Barriers to Play
Adults give many reasons why they are uncomfortable with play. We hear statements like:

Benefits of Play
Dolores Curran, in her book Traits of a Healthy Family, lists the “enjoyment of shared leisure time” as an important source of family health. Most importantly:

But I don’t know how to play …
If play is hard for you as an adult, you’re not alone. In recovery, we learn lots of new healthy living skills – many of them deeply painful and difficult incorporate into our lives. Here’s one that is fun! As with any skill, start small and keep at it even if you feel ackward and uncomfortable at first.

ACTIVITY: Plan for Family Play Time

Grab a calendar and sit down with your kids to plan a monthly family fun time. Let each person in the family choose a favorite activity. Here are some ideas to get you started thinking:

For more ideas, check your local bookstore for books on things to do in your area with kids. These usually list area museums, tours, parks, etc. that are free or low cost and chosen specifically for their appeal to kids.

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